So this time 8 weeks ago I was getting ready to go into my OB and see if I was going to be induced or was going to wait a week. All of a sudden 8 weeks of passed and I have a bouncing little girl.
Let me backtrack a bit. My last OB visit ended in me having to go to hospital the next night and start the induction process. At this point I had no idea what I was in for. The induction started at 5pm that night. I was given the first dose of gel and was told that this should help move things along. After about half and hour I felt some small pains that felt like period pain. At 12pm I had the next round of gel which made the pains worse and more regular but then the hospital gave me some medication to sleep and that made the pains stop. If I had my time again I would have not taken the medication I think that slowed everything and may have contributed to the end factor.
At 6am I had to go to delivery suite. I had progressed enough that they could break my waters. I was so happy at this point. I then felt the need to have my mum with me. I called and she came in. Just before mum arrived they came in to put a drip in my arm. This was were I panicked. I hate needles any type of needles but for some reason this day I really didn't want the drip needle. Just as the doctor was about to d it my mum walked in and I burst into tears. I have never been so Happy to see my mum. My husband is wonderful but there is something about having a mum close by that makes everything feel better. After the drip was in the started the syntocine drip. Nobody tells you that you go from small mildish contractions to full on non stop no break contrations and they hurt. I lasted about 2 hours with no pain relief, after that I had the gas and I loved th gas. The gas has a very weird effect on you, you don't really feel the pain and it makes no forget what is happening but as soon as you stop breathing it you come back to reality. After another 2 hours the pain seemed to be getting worse and my mum called for the pethadine, which worked really well. All the time I had terrible pressure and I had no idea what to do. What I didn't know was that my baby had her head caught in my pelivs and could not get through. After 6 hours I was examine and found that she was caught and her head my being sucked through and was being damaged.
at this point it went from me feeling ok to emergency c-section. I was devestated, actually devestated dosen't even cut it. I had failed and big time. I wanted the natural birth I didn't want surgery. Why was this happeneing,
You can only have one person in the surgery and my husband came. I wanted mum as well but it couldn't be. Within minutes I was wheeled down and was being prepped to have the spinal block. another needle!!!!! The spinal block was actually ok and all of a sudden I was numb and was on my back about to have this baby. Within about 3 minutes my husband was brought in and 5 minutes after that our baby was born.
Our DD was taken over and was checked and had apgar scores of 8 and 9. Great scores. Her head was a little funny but stated to go down almost instantly. After I was stitched up I was taken to recovery and my daughter taken with her dad to be weighed and measured. I hated this bit I wanted to be with her the whole time. I don't think our health system think about the impact this has on mothers. Within an hour I was taken back to the room where I was able to finally hold this baby that I had carried for nine months. I could not believe she was finally here and that in an instant I became a mother and My husband and I became a family.
After 24 hours I had all the telltale signs of having a bladder infection and boy did I. That pain in more vivid than the labour. haha. Once this was treated I started to heal and recover. I can say now that a c-section is major surgery and not easy. It is hard work but the pain goes and within 5 days I was home and feeling better within a week of my dd birth I was out and about. within 2 weeks I was back to normal.
After the birth I had a lot of feelings of failure, that I could not do it and that "I" hadn't given birth to a baby. Someone had pulled a baby out of me and I felt very detached form the whole experience. I never felt detached form my DD but from how she came into the world. Through all of this I loved my mum so much. Mum is a trained counsellor and let me talk about the experience and let me cry and I really needed to cry. I also needed to say it was a crap experience and that it was not a normal experience.
The Hubby was amazing, from someone who had never held a baby he quickly found his rhythm and was great. Hubby changed the nappies and would wrap and attended to DD when I was unable. Within 2 weeks he went back to work and I slowed gained a routine to where I am today 8 weeks later.
VBAC but if not I know that within a week I will heal and it will be ok.
